Thursday, February 5, 2015

The Heartbroken Mother


When I wrote "A Letter to My Doctor" a few weeks ago, I had no idea it would have the span that it did. I am so excited the post has reached so many and continues to make a difference. Because of the chord the post struck with people, I wanted to create something that would be even more meaningful and have even greater of an impact.

I thought that if the letter was powerful by itself, then a video would be even more powerful. It would show real people affected by loss. It would help connect the viewer with the true emotions felt by parents when their baby dies. It would make the letter human. I decided to ask the babyloss community to submit pictures of their children for this project, and was blown away by the response. Within the first hour of posting in two Facebook groups, I had dozens of emails, all from mothers who jumped at the chance to be a part of this, and who, more than anything, want their story told and their baby remembered.

I did not limit the video to pictures of babies born still. Some of the babies in the video lived for minutes, hours, and even days. Some passed away from birth defects, infections, illness, or SIDS. Honestly, for me, it doesn't matter why these children are gone. What matters is that they are - and they are so very missed, so very loved.


90 children appear in this video. 90. Let that sink in for just a moment. 90 children of Heartbroken Mothers. Some of the pictures were professionally taken, some were snapped with a personal camera, some have been retouched, but all of them are the most sacred possession each mother has of their child. Every picture in this video has been sent to me in good faith that I will tell their story honestly and with fidelity. Every picture is the result of a mother going out on a limb to support a cause by sharing the most vulnerable part of her motherhood, her baby's birth and death. This video is not just a video of me reading my blog post. This video is the heart and soul of every mother who has lost a child. When you watch it, remember that. Remember just how loved every single one of these children are. Remember that these pictures are all we have of our children. Remember how brave each of these mothers are to share their story and their baby with you.

Please Note: This video is "unlisted" on Youtube, and can only be accessed through this embedded link. If you share, please share the blog post and not just the YouTube link.

 In order to share this video in a group setting such as a face to face support group, or with hospital staff,  please let me know you are doing so.  You may email me at Kenleyninja at Gmail.



If this video moved you, please consider helping out a worthy cause.  The US Cuddle Cot Campaign is dedicated to make sure every maternity ward in the nation has a Cuddle Cot.   One of the beautiful Heartbroken Mothers from the video is working with the Campaign to bring a cuddle cot to her local hospital.  You can check out that link here.    Every hospital is required to be up to code in all sorts of areas, but they aren't required to have a Cuddle Cot.  Help get one into every hospital so that the next Heartbroken Mother (and there will be many) can have as many precious moments with her baby as possible.

Some of the resources mentioned in the video:

The TEARS Foundation
SOBBS
Still Born, Still Loved
Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep
The Sweet Pea Project
Cherishing the Journey
The Brianna Marie Foundation
Kaleb Kares
Still Birthday
Return to Zero (movie)

Also, check out Carly Marie's Project Heal.  I hadn't realized I didn't add it to the video until I had already published it.  Carly Marie does beautiful photography to remember our babies!

Once again, thank you for watching the video, reading the letter, and remembering the babies.





27 comments:

  1. Thank you so much Rebecca. I sent an email, on Friday, requesting permission to share the video with staff and students in presentations. I am hoping that I have done it correctly. If possible I would like to share in a meeting tomorrow - If I do not hear from you I will not share until I receive your permission and the correct video.

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    Replies
    1. Patti, I just looked through my emails, and I can't find one from you. It is possible it got lost in the shuffle of the several emails I have been receiving. I believe I just finished up the photo releases today. If you email me one more time, I will send you the link tonight! Kenleyninja @ gmail.com

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    2. Thanks Rebecca - I have resent it (from my work email instead of my home email) - I look forward to hearing from you

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  2. Hi Rebecca,
    I am a current VCOM studnet and we were just shown your video today. I want to thank you from myself and all my classmates for this personal letter. Your words were vital in helping us as future physicians to understand and be able to help all of our future mothers.Thank you again and I hope we can make you proud in holding these words close to our hearts.

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  3. My daughter died last May when she was only 7 days old. Most of the health providers where supportive but I regret not doing things like keeping a lock of her hair. Nobody suggested it and I was in shock to think about it...The death of a baby is taboo in Argentina. I've read other bereaved parents' thoughts and some of them had a really hard time with the medical professionals...I'd love to translate your letter into Spanish to share with the Latinamerican community of bereaved parents. Can I do so? I'd send you a copy if you'd like to have your video in Spanish as well.

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    Replies
    1. Nadin, I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. There are so many things moms can't think of on our own. It's so important for the medical professionals to help us through that. I would love for you to translate the letter and use it wherever you feel it can be useful! You are welcome to email me at KenleyNinja at GMAIL.com if you ever need anything.

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    2. Thank you so much. It really means a lot to me.

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    3. Would you be able to share the letter that was translated into Spanish so that we can share it with our Hispanic patients that prefer written materials in Spanish? Our population at our hospital obstetrical unit is 80% Hispanic.

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    4. Here is the link for the Spanish version https://drive.google.com/open?id=171lvM0UHc2c0lz8o0VF51VwdOfRO0kfE

      I have also updated the blog page to include it. :)

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  14. Good day to you all from the United States,I have been suffering from (HERPES) disease for the last eight years and have had constant pain, especially in my private parts. During the first year,I had faith in God that i would be healed someday.This disease started circulate all over my body and i have been taking treatment from my doctor, few weeks ago i came on search on the internet if i could get any information concerning the prevention of this disease, on my search i saw a testimony of someone who has been healed from (Hepatitis B diabetes) by this Man Dr Ehimare and she also gave the email address of this man and advise me to contact him for any sickness that he would be of help, so i wrote to Dr Ehimare telling him about my (HERPES Virus) he told me not to worry that i was going to be cured!! hmm i never believed it,, well after all the procedures and remedy given to me by this man, few weeks later i started experiencing changes all over me as Dr Ehimare assured me ,after some time i went to my doctor to confirmed if i have be finally healed, behold it was TRUE, email Dr Ehimare on : (drehimare3@gmail.com ) whatsapp him : +1 (267) 691-1087 And He also have herbs medicine to cured the following diseases; eczema,urethra wart,chronic problems.Herpes, Cancer, Als,Hepatitis, Diabetes, HPV,Infections,ulcer ETC

    ReplyDelete
  15. A VERY SHORT STORY HOW I GOT CURED FROM HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS (HSV2)
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    ReplyDelete


  16. Am jeremiah from Dallas TEXAS, I am testifying about a great hebal man that cured my wife of hepatitis B and liver cirhosis. his name is Dr oniha. My wife was diagnose of hepatities two years ago, i almost spent all i had then, until i saw dr osaze recommendation online, and i call him, then he told me how to get the herb. You can call him on +2347089275769 or email him at drosazeherbal@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete

  17. I'm Maria Lopez from Texas USA, I never believe i can get cured of hepatitis B, i was fully taught about this disease by my medical DR that there is no cure of this chronic disease, but was so surprise about this herbal medicine just get my hepatitis B negative, am still very confuse if it is the hand work of this herbal medicine or miracle, I so much appreciate you Dr Irene for God using you to cure me, please anyone out there who is suffering for this disease should contact this herbal medicine man for help. the email is drireneherbalcure@gmail.com

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  18. I want to share a testimony, how i was cured from Herpes by DR AGUGU with his herbal remedy. I don't know where to start, I'm 33 years old and i was diagnoses of genital herpes diseases for 5 years. i lost all hope in life but on like any other i still searched for a cure even on the internet and i saw a comment were a lady testify how she was cured by Dr AGUGU i could not believe it at first, i contacted him, He sent me his herbal remedy i used it for 2 weeks and the Herpes virus was cured completely. I went for medical check and the result was negative from Herpes.
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    ReplyDelete
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  20. Herbal treatment is 100 % guarantee for HSV2 cure , the reason why most people are finding it difficult to cure HSV2 is because they believe on medical report , drugs and medical treatment which is not helpful to cure HSV . Natural roots and herbs are the best remedy which can easily eradicate herpes forever for more information about herpes cure Please write Dr. Akhigbe for any health challenge WhatsApp him +2349021374574.. Or visit is facebook page
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    ReplyDelete

  21. I contracted herpes from my Ex boyfriend, we broke for this reason because he left to be with another girl, i still loved him despite what he did to me, i tried to get him back but up to no avail, i told my friend then she referred to a relationship specialist, i contacted him and told him my problem, he assured me that everything will be alright in no time, i did not believe at first, i gave him a try, behold!!, after 48 hours, my boyfriend came back begging me to give him a second chance, which i gladly did, we came together, he now loves me more than before, this is a miracle, unbelievable, The relationship specialist told he also have holistic remedies for several diseases, i opened up to him, believing he will be of help, He sent me a herbal med. I received this herbal medicine, he gave me instructions on how to use it, after taken the medicine as instructed, i went for check up and the result came out negative and i was cured of this deadly disease within 2 weeks, I am now free from Herpes. and i can tell you now that i am living testimony,. if you have any health issues or you want to restore your relationship, i will advice you to contact [ [Robinson.buckler@yahoo.com]]…………

    ReplyDelete